Life seems to be speeding by.  Seems as if we are constantly doing and not taking the time to be still.  I am so thankful for the guts I had to start something new with our family.  Each night at 9:00 we turn everything off and visit with one another for an hour.  It has been a rewarding experience to just be with each other.  Now need to find a way to incorporate the scriptures into this time.  Even in the days that I have been mad this time has increased my love for each child.

I am thankful that I have the ability to work.  At times I complain about having to go, and so does Tony.  I have been working my tail off so that we can maintain our spending habits that we had before his big pay cut.  One of our family times ended in a good conversation about why I feel the need to work so hard.  Tony just wants me to be happy.  I love this man!

Yesterday on my car ride to the job with a co-worker, I had an ah-ha moment.  It has been good to talk to someone outside of my family.  Just saying things out loud makes me realize how I am really feeling and be ready to accept things as they are and let go of the anger that I have been carrying around.  This anger is eating me up.  I just want to have joy in this journey.  I know that trails are put in our path to help develop our spirits.  Unfortunately, I have let the trails in front of me bring me down rather than take the opportunity to grow.  Yesterday, I decided.  I want joy!  I have learned from these trails, I was just pretending to be blind and wallow in the anger.  It is time to move on!  Unfortunately, that means leaving some family members behind.  (I'll have to explain later in another post so this makes sense later.)

My journey to joy has taken a small detour off the path, but I have found my way back and am eager to continue this journey of joy!

Below is a comment to a friend's blog I made: "As I was reading your thoughts I felt them as true to myself as they are to you. I have been struggling with validating myself...trying not to need others to do that for me. Why do other's opinions of us matter so much? I would love and look forward to the day where I am totally happy with myself. I just have to remember I am amazing! I am amazaing even when the day does not go perfect."

We function in our own little world and don't seem to notice others around. We are all having experiences that are not only for our learning but for others to learn from.

Why do we seem to retreat to our own little world rather than experience life with others who are around us and love us?

I was able to experience some joy today...actually I was able to experience it twice that I was able to fully acknowledge at the time. I had a wonderful experience with my husband this morning even thou we were experiencing a very scary moment. The joy was in the trust that is between the two of us. Knowing that we can depend on one another to get us thru....

Being in the Relief Society presidency is not something I ever thought would be a calling that would come to me. I struggle with myself sometimes that I am called to lead when I don't feel worthy or ideal for the position. We have the most spiritual presidency meetings! These two hours we spend together a week is one of the most spiritual uplifting. Heavenly Father knew I would need these two hours to fill my bucket and lift me. These sisters have been a great support and blessing to me the past year and a half. Thank you Heavenly Father for the calling!

I have been concentrating on the wrong things this summer. I have been so wanting to get so many things done this summer that I have forgotten to have fun and enjoy the moments with my kids. My joy came in finishing projects around the house and not in filling my kids buckets of love. (In typing this I just got an idea for a family home evening that may fill all our buckets).

How could I have been so misguided. I realize things need to be done. But I feel there is a but there. All in moderation. My focus is off. My priorities need to be Christ centered. My children need to understand that things are done around the house because of our love for each other. And working together brings us closer together.

I have also noticed that I experience my joy through my kids accomplishments/activities. That is a good joy to have but I need to find joy in my living, in my experiences. I need to let my kids see me experiencing joy. That I love my life. That I love my Savior. That I love the blessings the Lord has given me/us. That I cherish my testimony and the things I do only build and make my testimony strong.

I need to share the joy I feel. First I need to recognize that joy, and enjoy those moments that it is truely present.

Journey of joy is continuing even if I am unaware of it. I have felt very blessed that we have been surviving what I felt would be an awful storm for our family. My knot is finally gone, but I now worry of the new journey I am about to start. Counting my blessings everyday!

Joy I found in being complimented!

Joy found in visiting sisters of our ward. We all get so bogged down with what is going on in our lives that we forget our friends/sisters out there want so much to be apart of our life.

Joy is having the internet working again!