How is it that I can days without posting? I have so much on my mind...I'm sure getting them out would of been therapeutic. I have the possibility of a new job coming up, working in a child care facility. I am excited! I can see myself working here many, many years. She did ask me what hours I would be available to work. What a blessing! I hope I am able to accomplish both working, supporting my family, being available as their mom, and taxi driver. The economy is scaring me, along with the fact that we just took a huge pay cut. May I find JOY in finding ways to cut our expenses and live simply in the moment.

Last couple of days have had this nagging feeling in my stomach. What other bad news are we about to receive? I do thank my Heavenly Father for the health of my family, for the roof over our head, for the talent my kids have been able to share, and many other blessings I am unable to see at this time. Trials are for our experience, deciding to learn from them is a choice. I hope I learn this lesson! Journey of JOY is knowing that my Heavenly Father trusts me to make it through this, that I have the strength to overcome, endure, appreciate and learn from this trial/experience.

Was able to travel to Walla Walla with my mom to see Tracey play. JOY was found in the ride with my mom. Had great conversation. I am thankful that my mom and I are able to enjoy time together.

Yesterday was able to work. JOY is that I am able to work. My body hurts, and I sweated but found pleasure in doing a job well done. I thank Heavenly Father daily that he allowed me to find a job that will help my family out some during this rough patch. May I continue to be blessed with hours that this bump in our financial situation will be but a small one.

Reading comments to "The 7 Wonders That Will Change Your Life" by Dr. Ablow and Glenn Beck and I am moved. I am frozen with fear at what is coming. My husband seems calm and yet my stomach is still turning at how we are going to make it. I am frozen! I have lost sight of God's hands. I need to pray for his continued guidance and reach for his hands, I must reach. I will find JOY in being who I was meant to be.

Found joy today in my adventure of getting a job after sixteen years out of work. It is my small feeble way of trying to help our family through this trying time. I seem to be the only one in this family that senses the trying time it will be. May I continue to see the Lord's hand in our life as we venture into this unknown. May our family grow together and find JOY in the simplifying of this new life.

Today's journey has me feeling a lot of anxiety. I have had for a few months an overwhelming feeling of dread. I have not known what this feeling was for, could not place it. Tonight it came to light. Tony has had some issues at work and tonight they released him from his manager's position. This includes a pay cut that has caused a serious knot in my stomach. He seems fine with this. Glad to not be manager as he realizes this was not a good position for him. He does not seem affected by the fact that this will have a severe impact on our finical situation. I'm in the process of finding work to help, been trying to do for months...now I feel in a panic to do so. JOY is that my husband feels happier about work.

As I was loading my dishwasher I begin to over-analyze myself. I went to lunch with a friend today, her invite :) and all I can think of was I a good friend or a total dork? Did I let her talk things out that she had wanted to share or did I steal the show? I need to learn to be still, not every moment needs to be filled with words. JOY in the moment of two friends share a quite afternoon out.

So today is the day I am beginning to find joy in my journey. At times along this journey I have felt unworthy. How is it that I was so valiant to be saved for this time here on earth? The journey at times seems so hard, full of many speed bumps and stop signs.

At present I am feeling overwhelmed. I feel there is so much I need to do to prepare myself and my family for our return to our eternal home. I feel at times as one of the five foolish virgins from the parable of the ten virgins. I have oil but not enough to last me until the time of his arrival.

So as my journey of joy begins I will take small steps. Steps that will increase my oil. Steps that I will find JOY in, even if sometimes it is a step in the mud!